It’s been awhile since Monica Lewinski crossed my radar, not that I’ve missed her much, but I just got wind (via the Daily Mail, so take it with a grain of salt) that the former “friend” of Bill is looking to launch a new career in PR. Yes, you read that right, Capitol Hill’s Most Notorious Intern is toying with the idea of starting her own public relations company. I don’t know about you, but I’m not so sure I’d want to pay for Monica’s PR prowess seeing as how she got her fame for all the wrong reasons. Nearly 20 years later she’s still a walking punch line. But for argument’s sake, I could see the appeal one might see in hiring Miss Monica to dole out public image advice. I mean: It takes a PR disaster to know one, right?

Whatever the case, this little rumor got me thinking about who else I would add to my list of People I’d Never Take PR Advice From. I checked in with my fellow PR Planiteers and here’s who we came up with, in no particular order:

Balloon Boy’s dad
BP
Chris Brown
Lindsay Lohan (or her parents, Michael and Dina, for that matter)
Anthony Weiner
Jesse James
Charlie Sheen
Gary Busey
Mel Gibson
Jon and Kate, but we’d take it from their Plus 8
The Bachelor’s Vienna
Russell Edgington, former vampire king of Mississippi (for all you non-True Blood fans, he ripped out an anchorman’s spine on live, albeit fake, television)

At first I thought – oh this has to be good because in the end, is there really a "right" way to do an announcement?  Doesn't it depend on the client? The goal they have in mind? The type of announcement?  So then I got to reading and it showed a bunch of the partner quotes that Google and Motorola pulled referring to their acquisition announcement. Here they are:
 

“We welcome today’s news, which demonstrates Google’s deep commitment to defending Android, its partners, and the ecosystem.”
– J.K. Shin, President, Samsung, Mobile Communications Division

“I welcome Google‘s commitment to defending Android and its partners.”
– Bert Nordberg, President & CEO, Sony Ericsson

“We welcome the news of today‘s acquisition, which demonstrates that Google is deeply committed to defending Android, its partners, and the entire ecosystem.”
– Peter Chou, CEO, HTC Corp.

“We welcome Google‘s commitment to defending Android and its partners.”
– Jong-Seok Park, Ph.D, President & CEO, LG Electronics Mobile Communications Company
 

Really?  Did they not even take a glance at the quotes?  We all know that as PR people, we are usually the ones developing quotes on behalf of our clients to ensure that our message gets across.  This goes to show that even the brains behind the largest communications announcements make glaring mistakes.  I wonder if we will hear any defensive remarks from these folks as a result of posts like these – something like, "on the tight timeline we were working with, this is what our partners came up with."  

I will now go back to defending my lukewarm cup of coffee and its partners.  

As I read up on this news platform (at no cost to myself or Planit), I was wondering whether or not this really has the potential to transform how we consume news. I spend at least an hour each day reading the latest headlines from established news resources, about world news, US business updates, consumer trends and the latest news about my clients, all for free.

My main question is, can "The Daily" match up to the reputation of news sources that have been in business for more than 100 years?  And more importantly, will consumers want to pay for this news?
 

Recently I was lucky enough to attend the Consumer Electronics Show with one of our clients, M-Edge Accessories. Well maybe not “attend,” but more like “work” the show. With this being my second year attending the show, I thought I had learned almost all there is to know about exhibiting and working the event. Most of the trip went just about the same as last year; our team worked long days and still fit in a few fun dinners together during our time in Las Vegas. There are plenty of online articles where you can read up about the event, about which gadgets were “Best of Show,” and even which celebrities were in attendance.  Instead, I thought I’d share a more personal  take on my experience and what I learned this second time around:

• Just because you wear “Dr. Scholl’s®” flats, doesn’t mean your feet (nor your body) will be floating in comfort during the 12+ hours you spend each day on your feet.
• The time you gain by staying at the Las Vegas Hilton located right next to the Convention Center is the time lost waiting in lines at the coffee shop in the hotel lobby. Apparently we weren’t the only ones with this bright lodging idea.
• People do exist who still do not know about the iPad.
• Everyone flying to CES will be carrying on their luggage. You might as well just check yours because you will either A) get stuck sitting in the back of the plane where the only empty overhead space is OR B) be forced to check your luggage due to lack of overhead space
• Don’t even think about getting a cab in less than 30 minutes.
• Never underestimate the power of an adult-sized peanut butter and jelly sandwich with potato chips.
• CES attendees and exhibitors are hooked on Starbucks.
• Everyone back at your office will assume you are barely working and having a blast because you’re in Vegas. Most likely, this is not the case.  However, no amount of proof or photos will make them believe you.
• Soda machines do run out of soda.
• You really never know who you’re going to meet/see at CES.
• Apparently “sexy” attire doesn’t just sell at the AVN convention (located in Vegas, same weekend as CES).
• For the most part, chivalry does not exist at CES.

A recent Ad Age article discusses how Smirnoff is saying the company took measures to stop the "icing" site BrosIcingBros.com. Smirnoff's parent company, Diageo, claims that "Icing does not comply with our marketing code."

Personally, I've never seen such a phenomenon take off on social networks like "icing" has the past couple of weeks. I had not heard of "icing" until Memorial Day weekend when I was stuck in Baltimore and took a break from moving to see what my friends were up to in Dewey Beach. Low and behold, I kept seeing people on one knee drinking out of a bottle. Mobile uploads don't all have the best clarity, so it took a few pictures and captions to realize it was a Smirnoff Ice bottle. My friend even "iced" his roommate by leaving a bottle in the dishwasher full of clean dishes, waiting for her to unload it. My first reaction was surprise that this game existed, let alone was catching on in the perfect age demographic for this brand. A brand that most of us haven't had since…well…we weren't supposed to be having alcohol. My second thought was, Don't these people's teeth feel like they are going to shatter after chugging that sweet, tart-like drink? What are your thoughts about this?

Should Smirnoff take down the site and separate itself from this phenomenon? Also, will dentists see more action with more adults slugging sugary sweet drinks?

Be the funny girl

Think Tina Fey. This actress and producer has created a brand for herself that goes beyond just “funny” —she’s smart, successful and witty. American Express highlights this in an ad from last year. Also consider Budweiser’s Superbowl ads—they make you laugh, they’re catchy (whazzzupp), and they hold the attention of guys almost more than a fresh, warm Chipotle burrito. To be the funny girl is not as easy as it seems. You can be silly after a few beers, but to be legitimately funny all night, or at least through a two-beverage conversation, takes skill and smarts. Just giggling at whatever McDreamy says, and him laughing at your giggle, does not count. I’m talking skillfully funny—where you are connected with current events, subjects of interest to him, and the community, enough so that you have your own opinion on these, and can spin it into an engaging, funny conversation. Guys love this—maybe they won’t all admit it at first, but you will hold the conversation longer than a “pretty giggler,” and he will leave that bar thinking, “Wow, she was funny and I’d like to hang out with her again.”

The “drop dead gorgeous” girl

Picture the models in almost any Victoria’s Secret ad, or any serious fragrance ad. The example that comes to my mind is Charlize Theron in the J’adore Dior ad strutting down a hallway like she is by far the most gorgeous thing on earth.  Minus the stripping part, this is what I’m talking about. Now this one is a little harder to come by, unless you are either naturally blessed by the “god of good looks” or you have thousands of dollars to get to a surgeon who can “assist you” in the looks department. Either way, if you are fortunate enough to be this girl, you better WORK IT. I don’t mean by dressing and/or acting “easy” in any manner. Let down your hair; wear a nice, stylish (and maybe slightly provocative) outfit with heels; and walk in like you KNOW you’re hot. Guys will take notice, and hey, the music may even stop blasting while you make your entrance. Even the funny girl will lose her pedestal for a moment. All eyes are on you—flash a few smiles at some droolers, work your way to the bar, and buy yourself a drink. The rest will come to you. From here on out, just ooze confidence, and flick your hair a few times.

The “I don’t care what anyone says, I want the attention” girl

This reminds me of the brand that Cameron Diaz has seemingly built for herself. She’s portrayed in the media as the fun, entertaining, outgoing, attention-grabbing Hollywood actress. From her early role in “The Mask,” to a lead role in “The Sweetest Thing” (a movie that most of you probably haven’t heard of but she is the loud party girl), she is always the center of attention and having a blast…you get the gist. If not, check out this montage. Be careful with this one; more often than not you will get on the nerves of almost every other girl in the bar. To be this girl, you don’t have to be Ms. Sports Illustrated cover model—you just have to be a bit loud, laugh a lot, wear a cute yet quasi-comfortable and bright-colored outfit (OK maybe not but that’s how I picture you), and act like you are having a great time—no matter what. Guys will want to know what you are about. They will think, “Whoa, she is having a great time. I want to learn more about this chick, and I want to join in the fun too.” The downside with this is you typically will attract a ton of guy friends as well, and let’s face it, this gets you nothing but a circle of armor for the night that almost no McDreamy would dare fight. Go on and be this attention-grabbing girl with a handful of fun girlfriends, and best of luck to you. Maybe bring some glow-in-the-dark straws with you for added effect.

The mysterious girl

The mysterious girl is like the Mona Lisa effect (is she smiling or is she reserved?) or like the lyrics to the Johnny Mathis song "A Certain Smile." Similarly, brands occasionally will run a TV ad and say nothing about the actual brand itself until the very end of the ad, making you watch closely and wonder who is speaking to you and what they are trying to sell. Hey, they caught your attention didn’t they? As for dating, be this girl if you are not, won’t be, or can’t be any of the above. The best place to be this girl is a new one, as in a bar or neighborhood you typically do not frequent. The key here—guys do not know you. Stroll in with one other girl, two at most, and pretend not to notice anyone else at the bar. Grab a spot in a back corner, and park yourself there for most of the night. Have intriguing conversations with your friend(s) and meanwhile scan the bar for McDreamy (or McDreamies). Make eye contact every so often and be sure to continue your conversation without missing a beat. If he’s interested he should approach you, and if he doesn’t, don’t fret. Instead, walk out with confidence, shoot him a small smile, say nothing, and come back on a similar night to be that mysterious girl he gets to see again. He will be wondering about you… In the end, I’m a fan of mixing it up a bit depending on the following: how your work week went, your posse for the evening, which bar you’re heading to, and frankly what your gosh darn mood is like that night. Take notice, if there are too many drop dead gorgeous girls there—be different, cut through the clutter. Be the mysterious one, be the Charlize Theron in the Dior ad, or be a sassy and funny Tina Fey, or be what you know will set you apart from the crowd (in a smart, ladylike way of course). You will stand out and maybe you’ll learn a bit about yourself. You will most likely have more fun, and realize that perhaps being single in Smalltimore, or any other city, isn’t so bad after all.

Obviously your number one responsibility is the safety of your customers, but by not publicly addressing the "stuck accelerator" issue in a timely fashion (2 weeks after the  accelerator recall we got a half-assed press conference) – you exacerbate peoples fears and draw much more negative attention to the issue. Your CEO dodged the media and was even photographed dodging them in an Audi! How did you really think that would play out? That is red meat for the blogosphere/cable news cycle.

YOU SCREWED UP – NOW WHAT?

Nowadays people can handle brutal honesty more than they could 20 years ago. We get "brutal honesty" pumped into our lives 24 hours a day through the media. And the American consumer is willing to forgive and forget – if it is given the respect it deserves. And in this case, Toyota, that means you should be fixing all of your manufacturing and safety issues ASAP while being very public and transparent about the whole process. You should also be ready to implement some kind of "Sorry we f****ed up" consolation prize (warranty extensions?).

And of course you are going to have to spend millions (actually more like billions) on "The New Toyota" marketing campaign that is sure to come. Oh yeah, and you should probably abandon the "Moving Forward" campaign as well – too much bad-internet-meme potential.  But to be fair you are approaching the Prius brake recall (a software update to fix the brakes???) in a much more pro-active, transparent way. Heck, Toyota was even getting Digg involved (although I would have used reddit – it's users are more likely to actually own a Toyota) :

"Doug Frisbie, national marketing manager at Toyota USA, said that within a few hours well over 500 questions were posted. "It's important to fully understand the issues" when dealing with social media, said Frisbie, in addressing why it took some time to respond online. "Our top priorities are, No. 1, to listen to consumers and No. 2, getting them the information they need." (from Adweek)

MOVING FORWARD

Oh yeah – Toyota, the American car companies are just about done licking their wounds, Ford is even making a profit. These guys have been reborn and are ready to pounce on your market share. Are you going to give up all that ground?

I only say all this because I drive a Toyota, and most of the people in my family drive Toyotas – and we have had very, very few issues considering all of the road miles driven between us. I would even go so far as to label my in-laws "Toyota Fanboys." Toyota is a very forward thinking company that provides thousands of jobs in America – the kind of company I don't mind giving my money too. Hopefully that doesn't change.

So next time (and there will be a next time) bad news strikes, Toyota please promise we won't have to relearn these lessons. Timeliness, honesty and transparency – while painful at first they will save you much more suffering (and money) in the long term.